Spring: Successes, lessons, and heartbreaks

Live to the point of tears.-Albert Camus

Every spring starts with plans and hope and turns into a mixed bag of wins,  lessons, and heartbreaks.  

I realized recently that it is a blessing I don’t feel compelled to pretend I have it all together. I don’t think that is a thing and I was never taught it was a goal.  

This season has had more heartbreak than usual.  As I plant the garden, I’m already behind schedule.  We lost a month to death.  We lost pieces of our souls.  My husband buried his last remaining grandparent, my best friend lost her father, a man I loved as family, and we said goodbye to our dog.  There is nothing that haunts me like the sound of our son’s voice calling the name of his dog as he helps bury her.  I still feel like she should be by my side and she just isn’t.  Even now, I cry.

And, as these circumstances played out, we traveled for a couple of weeks, not all at once because life with livestock rarely allows that.  I spent time with loved ones.  We got behind in the spring prep work: the cutting of cover crops, the mulching of walkways, the irrigation maintenance.  

Even as we fell behind, things grew.  The final carrot bed of the winter looks great and we will be eating from it for the next couple of weeks.  Thanks to our neighbors, our log house and barn have a fresh coat of waterproofer.  

We have straw mulch this year, a first in our time in this area as it is not normally available.  It makes gardening easier.  

We are getting a dozen eggs a day and have three hens about to hatch clutches, God willing.

I’ve dealt with fly strike in a hen’s chute.  Don’t look that up.

Our income has been threatened by a corporate takeover that would have a different me on edge.  As it stands, I’m just doing what needs to be done and waiting to see if we will stay here or if, yet again, we will be starting our life over.  It is what it is.  I’ll go where we are sent, unless it is too cold, of course.  

When I transplanted our fennel, I failed to turn the irrigation on so I’m hoping most of them will make it, but we will see.  Lesson learned.  


Without our Gabrielle, the deer and rabbits are getting more bold.  There is an armadillo that is digging up the yard.

I ate ice cream, multiple times, and my stomach tried to kill me in return.  

After being warm all but 3 days this winter, we had a freeze the day after our frost-free date.  Let’s hear it for weather apps giving us a heads up.  All the delays getting things transplanted turned out to be for the best.  Life is like that sometimes.

In the meantime, I’ve got planting to do and children to teach and a home to maintain and horses who need more attention and chicken who is ready for her bath.


Happy eating, Katy

4 thoughts on “Spring: Successes, lessons, and heartbreaks

  1. The hardest thing a mother has to endure is the heartbreak of their children. Pets help knit us together and when they die we feel undone. It is a testament to them that we chose the joy of having a pet over the pain of losing them.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s