It FINALLY happened.  I have found the thing for which I have searched the last 5 years.  Not appreciation, not enough sleep, horses who poo outside the barn or a free tractor,  no, I found deodorant that works and has no junk in it.  

I was starting to think this day would never come.

I bet my friends were thinking this day would never come.

After testing every brand I could find, in every combination, I had all but given up.

Maybe, I thought, I just work too hard for anything to work.  I am a strong person, after all.

But then, one day.  Nothing.  No smell at all.

I was so surprised I didn’t believe it, initially.  Ask the friends we were helping move in south Georgia’s mid-summer heat how many times I blatantly checked my own underarms that day.  

So, to make sure it wasn’t just my own personal miracle, I gave sticks of it away to some people to see if it worked for them and, hold-the-phone y’all, it DID.

Do I sound stunned?  I’m a little stunned.

I am a sweaty person.  I never even pretended with the “glowing” b.s. ladies used to spout.  Every pore of my body sheds liquid copiously.  As much as I love heat, living in the deep south exacerbates this phenomenon to the point that every single time I have contact with someone I automatically warn them that I’m sweaty.   I sometimes sweat all through my shower.  Oh, and I work outside at least part of every day so…yeah.  It’s not as sexy as it sounds.

I don’t personally mind my stinkiness when I’m alone in the garden or barn but I spend lots of time with other humans and they seem to mind.  Also, y’all stink.

So, a deep and affectionate ‘thank you’ to Schmidt’s Deodorant for making such a fine product.  I’m so excited, I bought extra so I can keep handing it out and, you know, incase things get really dystopian and I can’t mail order stuff for a while.  

Schmidt’s doesn’t know I’m writing this and they sure aren’t paying me but, you know, they can if this reaches them.  They can pay me in product if they are so inclined.  Feel free to pass that along, guys.

Here’s the down low on Schmidt’s deodorant:

There is nothing weird in it: No aluminum, no propylene glycol and no artificial fragrance.

It smells good.

It’s deodorant, not antiperspirant (which, as someone who sweats all over, it would be weird for that to the the only dry place on my body anyway).

It doesn’t irritate my armpits but I was told the one with lime can do that so some people so if you are sensitive, use another one.  They have a sensitive option.

Did I mention it works?

I get it through my buying club but it has been spotted at nice grocery stores, Target and even TJ Maxx.

I know what you are thinking.  No, people will not start thinking of you as lazy or an urbanite who enjoys constant climate control.  You can still look like you smell if it helps you maintain your balance.  I do.

So fly, darlings, fly to the barn to get all kinds of nasty and know your own odor won’t be in the mix.

Go ahead and hug your friends, accept that surprise visitor and sit next to people at meetings.  There is a whole world out there that will no longer recoil when we are present.

Happy eating, Katy